The Frozen Phoenix (sader_but_wiser) wrote in forlorn_words,
The Frozen Phoenix

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Thanks to the Assholes of the World . . . Now Die

Prior to my 16th birthday, I was a gullible loser who was very overweight and who had no friends. Then sitting at the dinner table that night with my grandfather we had a talk that forever changed my life. I lost 100 lbs, went from a hermit to actually being social, and I went from issuing kindness blindly to actually accessing the situation first. People who say I never really changed because no one ever changes are wrong. Need proof . . . okay. Well for starters losing 100 pounds when you use to eat like six times a day is a slight change. Then the fact that my grades went from a 3.33 to a 4.0 +. Oh, and then there is the fact of how successful I became in almost every endeavor with older people I partook in . . . when I use to be afraid of talking to adults.

I came to a realization on my 20th birthday now as well . . . the people of the world suck. Anyone who is nice gets used so much that eventually they just give up and become a horrible person themselves. They don't have a choice. It is simple self-preservation. So now that I am getting older it is time for me to change again. This time it is less physical and much more mental. Kindness . . . maybe when I absolutely know someone is not trying to fuck me over . . . maybe. Relationships . . . fuck the nice guy approach! Sure it gets you a fuck load of girls that think you are the most "amazing, wonderful, and caring" man on the planet. Yet they simply use you as a therapist and then go out and continue to date the assholes of the world. I am done with that. Guys treat girls like shit and get what they want and then I spend hours helping girls pick up the pieces and I don't get shit. This use to be fine . . . but no more. And as for the rest of the fuckers of the world . . . their day has come. No more will I let other people say and do what ever the want to me and just laugh it off. From now on, any of those jackasses who cross my path are going to hear about it. I am no longer the door mat!

It really sucks . . . because I use to enjoy being the nice guy. No the enjoyment that comes from that is far outweighed by the pain that follow from getting used. Every time I use to get used I would just move on and tell myself "This time it will be different" . . . well now I know that it is never different. Adam Smith had it right when he wrote on self-preservation . . . only now it has become a dark art.

To all those who I have hurt by writing this or who I will hurt in the future because of it I will apologize . . . although I am not really sure if I mean it or not . . .

It is time to stop worrying about others and to get me mine . . .


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