The Frozen Phoenix (sader_but_wiser) wrote in forlorn_words,
The Frozen Phoenix

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Through The Looking Glass

Is it bad that with each passing day I wish I had a remote to fast forward time? I swear that more and more I wish it were the spring of 2010. I would be graduating law school making good money living in a city far far away from this hellhole . . . and most of all the drama that is college would be over. But most of all, by 24 if I haven’t met someone, then I can be satisfied losing hope and I can be happy. But at 20, I am still a sucker for “maybes” and I am really becoming numb to being walked all over.

Two dates have really made me realize the true extent to which my life at 20 sucks . . . December 3rd and December 17th. I mean hell . . . I am pretty good looking and I am a damn good guy, but there is a stigma I carry with me always stemming from my days as the fat kid in grade/high school. I need a date for my office Christmas party on December 3rd (since I have been there a year and I have never brought a date to an event). Oh and I just got promoted so I am trying to impress. Then there is December 17th . . . my brothers wedding. I am in the wedding and I have no date. Each family event being the only of four brothers without a date gets worse.

Most of all, I need to get out of Memphis. Everyone I meet ends up hearing of my past and how I was the high school “loser”. The fact that I lost 100 lbs and I am a total extravert now means nothing to girls. The flock to be my friend and bitch when I don’t do everything for them, but then God forbid on would date me. No fuck that, God forbid one would go with me to a dinner or wedding as just a friend. Why does the world work this way? After 20 years I know one thing for sure . . . I need a fresh start!

But I digress . . .

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